A day of memories, old and new…

My eldest son got married recently, to his long-time sweetheart. They’d been going out for eight and a half years, and I think everyone knew in the first year that they were made for each other! I feel like I’ve had a daughter-in-law forever! She’s kind, practical, brave, delightful in so many ways… And now when she comes round, she runs in and says, “Hello, Mother-in-law law!” and I say, “Hello, Daughter-in-law!” and we hug and laugh because it’s finally official. What a blessing!

They got engaged in September 2023, then set about planning their wedding. I get stressed at the drop of a hat, so when they eventually told me what they had decided to do and where, I was really nervous. They didn’t plan a beach wedding on a tropical island or anything as wild as that, which is just as well as I don’t have a passport! It was a traditional church wedding with lots of family and friends (about 90) to a sit-down meal afterwards and then an extra 40 or so people in the evening, at a wedding venue about 43 miles away – approximately an hour and 20 minutes, depending on the traffic. For those of you who read this in America, you’re probably thinking, “Just around the corner then!!”

As the day drew nearer, my nervousness grew. What shall I wear, how will I cope with so many people, I can’t go on my own… Pretty pathetic, huh? It’s not about me, it’s their special day!

So, as we got to the final week’s countdown, I managed to start being proactive, practised my make-up (not worn any for years!) and generally tried to be enthusiastic! I so wanted to enjoy it all! It was the thought of being on my own that was overwhelming my mind. Picturing me at the top table, sitting between my sons (his brother was best man) and noting the obvious absence of their dad… He would have been so proud, and loved every minute of it. 

As it turned out, my fears were unfounded. The day went by so quickly! I met many people I hadn’t seen for years, including several of my son’s schoolfriends, who used to come to the church youth club that my husband and I ran together, now all lovely young men, many with girlfriends and fiancées. They were so loving and kind to me. I had so many hugs! Every one of them kept checking in to make sure I was ok, sitting and chatting for a while, asking if I needed a drink, or anything else. I felt like the Lord had sent them all to be sons to me that evening!

It really was a very special day! My son, who is a strong Christian, even had the string quartet play “Oceans” while they went off to sign the register. Many people asked him afterwards where they could find that song as they liked it so much! He also had Christian worship songs interspersed with other music that played during the meal. He smiled at me and said, “Guess what’s playing now!” It was ‘What a beautiful name’. He wanted to include praise to Jesus in his wedding celebrations, even though most of the attendees were not people of faith.

I missed John very much, as did we all. An unfillable hole, a sadness surrounded by love and joy, a bit like a doughnut with a hole in the middle… Memories of my own very quiet wedding, just seventeen of us, including the photographer. I’ve never liked being the centre of attention and didn’t want a big white wedding; just to be a wife – and mother in due course. And I was. All my dreams fulfilled. For my son and his bride, this was their dream. To have all the people they loved in one room, together, celebrating their love for one another!

It was a beautiful day, as perfect as it could be. Mission accomplished! All glory to Jesus! He told me I was having a son 12 weeks into my pregnancy, and that he would have his hand upon him. 27 years later, the next chapter begins. ❤️